Had my concert today. It went pretty well, although I couldn't find my bowtie. Somehow it ended up 5 feet from the place where my hanger was... found it after the concert. Oh well.
Dance was yesterday, that was amusing. Tim and I dressed up as women. Pictures will at some point follow.
I feel pretty crappy right now. I don't really know what has been going on lately. I haven't been feeliung my usual self. I must be having my man-period, or some sort of mid-way to mid-life crisis crisis. Who knows?
Been doing thinking lately, I've really begun to close down my heart. It seemed like last year I was a lot more open and excited to share things. I can't seem to do it anymore. For example, people will talk to me... and while I'm (generally) interested in what they are saying; and could probably listen for hours with no discomfort, I find coversations with people difficult. No less than 3 or 4 times today I found myself incapable of carrying on a basic conversation. I don't get it... It's like I just don't care anymore. If you talk to me, I'll talk back. If I need something, I'll talk to you. If it doesn't fall into one of those two categories, you probably won't be seeing me talking. I feel like I used to have a presence among a group, now it feels like I'm a breeze, blowing dander about and accomplishing nothing important at all. It sucks.
Since I'm bitching already... actually I can't bitch about what I was going to bitch about any more. It's funny, I was going to complain about people who say they are going to do something, and then just do what ever sounds fun at the moment and ditch any arrangements or agreements they'd made. But she actually came, and even though I didn't find out until now. I feel a bit better. All isn't right with the world yet, but there I guess there is a soft spot in my heart yet.
It's still depressing though... I feel so alone. I miss having a girlfriend, but the thing is... I don't even know if I want a girlfriend. I don't know what I want. It's like; I feel like I have chances but when the time comes to actually take the chance I back down, or run away. I think I just like living in my fantasy world. If anything real ever happens, I retreat that much further back. Gah, I don't even know what I'm talking about any more... So i'll just hit post and leave it to you, the reader, to figure out what in the hell I'm whining about.
Dance was yesterday, that was amusing. Tim and I dressed up as women. Pictures will at some point follow.
I feel pretty crappy right now. I don't really know what has been going on lately. I haven't been feeliung my usual self. I must be having my man-period, or some sort of mid-way to mid-life crisis crisis. Who knows?
Been doing thinking lately, I've really begun to close down my heart. It seemed like last year I was a lot more open and excited to share things. I can't seem to do it anymore. For example, people will talk to me... and while I'm (generally) interested in what they are saying; and could probably listen for hours with no discomfort, I find coversations with people difficult. No less than 3 or 4 times today I found myself incapable of carrying on a basic conversation. I don't get it... It's like I just don't care anymore. If you talk to me, I'll talk back. If I need something, I'll talk to you. If it doesn't fall into one of those two categories, you probably won't be seeing me talking. I feel like I used to have a presence among a group, now it feels like I'm a breeze, blowing dander about and accomplishing nothing important at all. It sucks.
Since I'm bitching already... actually I can't bitch about what I was going to bitch about any more. It's funny, I was going to complain about people who say they are going to do something, and then just do what ever sounds fun at the moment and ditch any arrangements or agreements they'd made. But she actually came, and even though I didn't find out until now. I feel a bit better. All isn't right with the world yet, but there I guess there is a soft spot in my heart yet.
It's still depressing though... I feel so alone. I miss having a girlfriend, but the thing is... I don't even know if I want a girlfriend. I don't know what I want. It's like; I feel like I have chances but when the time comes to actually take the chance I back down, or run away. I think I just like living in my fantasy world. If anything real ever happens, I retreat that much further back. Gah, I don't even know what I'm talking about any more... So i'll just hit post and leave it to you, the reader, to figure out what in the hell I'm whining about.
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